Dylan James 废话帅哥的显化建议翻译（from他的社区）

2023年8月6日发(作者：贺循)

什么是土豪-

Dylan James 14小时前 2020 03 08

I just want to do a real-talk post about

when someone says "I need to process this" / "l don't want a relationship right now" / or an ex pops up, third party, etc. and the person needs "time to figure thing out"

当有人说“我需要（在3D）处理这件事”/“我现在不想谈恋爱”/或突然出现前任或第三者，而对方需要“时间来弄清楚”

*Again* -> I don't know where people got their false information from, but relationships *RE QUIRE* Growth. It your person needs some time to figure things out, and you think that they're just treating you like an "option":

重复，我不知道为什么人们从哪里得来的错误观点，但是关系“需要”发展，你的SP需要时间来思考，你这样想的话，那他们只是把你当作一个“可选项”；’

that is you interpretation，that is your story.

这就是你的解释，这就是你的故事

that is your awareness and if you feel/ believe that, then it will be. Pressuring someone， getting upset with them, wanting to manipulate them or get frustrated with them; taking everything 100% personally is a sure-fire way .and quick ticket to creating more problems and really making this a consistent story in your life, and relationships.

你意识到并且你感觉或者相信这些（狗屁），那这就会是事实。由此你对某人施加压力，因为某人而感到不安，想要去操控他们，或者因为某人而挫败。把每件事100%归因在自己身上是让自己心安的方法，由此得到一张快速入场券去制造更多的麻烦，并让这些故事和这些关系在你的生活始终如一。（你相信狗屁，并对3d做出反应。如果sc上去了，你知道你是最好的，你根本就不会搭理这些破事）

Pause: *breathe*

停顿；呼吸

What is the basis of a relationship?

一段关系的基石是什么？

Trust

相信

Back to the point:

回到主题

However, if you can realize that *we all have moments* *we all need to figure things out sometimes*,*its not 100% personal* and you can just be supportive know your worth & value (by not chasing them)give your person some time to figure things out and hold a dominant assumption that at the end of the day, they will pick you, love you, and give you the treatment you deserve - then that will be your experience.

但是，如果你能意识到“我们都有这些时刻”，“有时候我们需要去弄明白”，“这并不是100%的个人（原因）”，你只是需要些许可和理解，来知道你的价值与重要性（不是通过追逐他们），给你自己一点时间来弄明白，在一天的结束保持一个主导假设——他们会选择你，爱你，让你得到你应有的对待——这些都将是你的体验。

When you decide to be with someone There is going to be up's and down' s.

当你决定和某人在一起的时候会有起有落。

*it is a part of life. * How you choose to perceive it, respond to it and deal with it is your responsibility. if you are so quick to cut everybody off because they are having a human moment, and you're taking everything 100% personally, you're going to jump around from person to person to person and cut yourself off from opportunities to develop yourself , learn

yourself and be an effective partner.

“这是生活的一部分”，你如何去察觉这些，回应这些并且处理这些都是你的责任。如果你因为每个人都有属于他们的人性（摇摆）的时刻，而很快地切断与他们的联系，你把每件事都100%看作针对你，你就会从一个人跳到另一个人再跳到另一个人，切断自己成长的机会——通过自主学习成为一个积极可靠的伴侣。（不解决自我概念，一味逃避会陷入循环。）

Deciding to still be with this person *does not* mean that you do not know your value or worth. It is *not* bad.

决定去继续和某人的继续在一起“并不”意味着你不知道自己的价值或者重要性。这并“不”是糟糕的。

Find me a perfect relationship that has never had challenging moments. Find me marriage that has lasted 20+ years where some persisting did not have to take place .Where faith in your partner, trust in your partner, belief in your partner and giving them loving, respectful, space to come back to you the way you deserve - did not take place.

你给我找一段从来没有问题和挑战的完美关系。给我找一段（不需要两个人）相互坚持就可以持续了20多年的婚姻。真诚予你的伴侣，信任你的伴侣，给他们爱、尊重和空间，让他们以你应得的方式回到你身边——这些没有发生过吗？

（大概是就是两人之间需要不断磨合，你清楚你的价值，你也相信和认定、给予耐心对你的伴侣。）

It all comes down to what you want. why you want it and how confident you feel with being able to create that in a sustainable way. Sometimes you just need to give people space, step into trust, make good assumptions and continue to feel good-pleasantly expecting your desired outcome. In fact. the more you can make it nothing and really genuinely not see an of these things as a problem, or a threat because you know your value and worth you know you will be recognized and 'chosen"- the faster that will occur。

这一切都取决于你想要什么。你想要它的原因，以及你对它有多大的信心——以持续性地方式创造它，有时候，你只需要给别人一些空间，信任他们，做出一些好的假设，并继续保持良好的心情，愉快地期待你想要的结果。事实上。因为你知道你的价值和重要性，你知道你会被认可和“选择”，所以你越能让它（3D）变得毫无意义，真正地不把这些事情看作是一个问题或威胁——3D追你得越快。

By no means am I saying to be in something abusive but you have to have a level of security, stability and confidence within yourself to:

我绝不是在说不好的事儿，但你必须有一个安全，稳定和自信的自己:

A. Not take everything personally: Monitor your perception and the stories you're creating in your mind。

A.不要把每个事都当作针对于你，在你的思绪（脑中）监督你的察觉和你正在创造的故事。

B. Emotionally self-regulate: Decide to be happy, Decide to do things that make you feel confident, loved and good in you body。

B.个人情绪管理；决定去快乐，决定去做些让你变得自信的事情，去爱你的身体，对你的身体好一些。

C. Make confident decisions: Know it into being and allow it to unfold

C.做出充满自信的决定；知道它已经存在并且允许它展开（在你的3D）。

Go after what you want, and do that Shamelessly .

做你想做的，并且毫无羞愧。

Stop getting everyone else' opinions, decide for yourself. Be the change.

停止去采纳（征询）每个人的建议，自己做决定，做出改变。

You're showing the world how to treat you based on what you believe and feel about yourself

Your self-concept creates the world in which you live.

基于你对自己的相信和感受，你会向这个世界展示（它）该如何来对待你自己。你的自我概念创造出你生活的世界。

People are responding to you, showing up based on your beliefs and assumptions (this is why people can be so vastly different depending on who they're around).

人们会基于你的信念和假设来回应你，（这就是为什么不同的人在一起会有很大的区别的原因。）

Create a self-concept that gives the people around you the ability to grow, be authentic , trusting, loving and forgiving of mistakes just like need to be that way with yourself .Be the Change .Be the Solution.

树立一个自我概念，让你周围的人能够成长。成为真实的，值得信任的，有爱的，宽恕错误的人，就像对待自己一样。做出改变，做出解决问题的方法。

Don't be a doormat, but also be able to handle challenges and "problems" with grace, confidence, self-value, self-worth and trusting those around you，coming with good assumptions and beliefs。

不要做受气包，而是成为可以带着优雅，自信，自我价值，自尊来处理挑战和“问题”的人

，用良好的假设和信任来信赖你周围的人。

 以下来自他某个视频中自己的评论；

Stop Trying ,Start Being

停止尝试，而是现在拥有！

Stop Victimizing ,Start Shining

停止受害者情结，开始灿烂

Stop Caring ,Start Deciding

停止在意（他人意见），开始（自己）做决定

Stop Fearing ,Start Believing

停止害怕，开始坚信

Stop Waiting ,Start Enjoying

停止等待，开始享受

Everything IS a choice .You're showing the world how to treat you based on what you believe and feel about yourself .and what you believe and feel is going to be your story/what you have to deal with it. Stop trying to change everyone ,and everything； realize that you need to confidently. Calmly , respectfullly and fearlessly be the change.

每一件事都是一个决定，基于你对自己的相信和感觉，你对世界来展现(它该)如何对待你。你所相信和感受的都会成为你的故事/你必须处理的事物。停止去尝试改变任何人和任何事，意识到你需要的是自信地、冷静地、受尊敬地、以及无所畏惧地、成为改变、

Know it into being.

知道3D正在追你了，他妈的。（别怀疑了）

暴风女神迦娜-